A Phrase My Mother Often Uses While Watching Soap Operas: "UGH! GAG ME WITH A SPOON!"




I want a progress report from THE LORD. This piece of paper will be mailed to my address and it will say what have been doing. This was not good. That was real-good. Etc. A point system will have to be developed. Might i suggest the star-system as it is applied by local newspaper movie critics everywhere? Or, here is a thought, maybe just compare aspects of my life to films that have already been reviewed.

Family Life: "The Truth About Cats and Dogs"

Love Life: "In The Realms of the Unreal: The Documentary About Henry Darger"

Professional Life: "The Dark Crystal"

ET CETERA

Should i be going home right now? I guess i'll find out when i get there. My parents are moving soon. Maybe i should call my sister now. right now scott and i are at the green-line listening to surf-job stevens and so on.

We are moving soon as well. Where is it safe for you to forward my mail? who knows. We plan on moving at midnight. Snooping through the new neighborhood like spies. Wearing black knit-caps and shoe-polish faces. Like the men from "HOGAN'S HEROES" when they get dressed up to blow up a bridge that the NAZIS are trying to use to transport "Drug Bombs" and "Racist Rape" to different parts of Europe.
Here is another poem about high school:

"IAN AND CHET KISS EACH OTHER IN THE SHOWER BEFORE BLOWING UP THE WORLD. THEY LEARNED HOW TO DO THIS BY WATCHING THE FILM "ELEPHANT" WHICH WAS A PRETENTIOUS AND ARTISTIC ATTEMPT AT TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO AMERICA THAT THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN ANYTHING ABOUT TEENAGE GUN VIOLENCE TO THEMSELVES."

stuffed in a locker
ian learns the world up
how to drive an automobile
how to please a woman

the bully chet baker cries in his pillow
chet baker's after school schedule:

mon-fri: mom and Derick "Uncle Dad The Lonesome Pedophile" Stevens

fri-sun: dad and GOD DAMNIT I'M GONNA GROW YOU UP RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA GET IT BOY I'M GONNA TIE YOU TO THE CAR AND CRASH THE CAR INTO THE MOTHERFUFUGHGING DOLLAR STORE THEN YOU'LL LEARN HOW TO VALUE WHAT IT IS.

ian dreams about kissing the teacher
chet baker molests the family dog
ian dreams about conquering the gym teacher
chet drowns the family dog in a river.

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ps: here is a fact: Do you remember the song "Stupid Girl" by Garbage? I once saw an interview with the lady from Garbage and she said that that song was based on the character from the film "Se7en" who decided she would rather die in her sleep than live with a face that was hacked with with razor blades.




our Past skeleton = our Future skeleton = our old wrinkled children = children's letters to dog